Every new experience has a way of reshaping one’s life and so is parenting. The intrigues deepens if it’s a first time experience. For me, it all started when the Doctor’s report showed that my wife was two weeks pregnant. There is this feeling between anxiety and fear but definitely not shock. How on earth could I say I was shocked when all activities leading to that pregnancy was deliberate, lol.
Going forward, everthing about my small family changed. My dear wife assumed new dimensions in babyish practice. Countless mood swings, weird desires and cravings, unwarranted misplacement of passion and unexplainable sicknesses. The homonal changes were enormous. At this point, I learned two things namely; That Parenting can’t be at your comfort and if parenting doesn’t deny you some pleasure, you may not be right. I also learned more than ever before that men ought to give intentional love to their wives.
Soon, our son arrived and as a first time dad, I got to understand that parenting will always place a demand and fatherhood expects that you must always be ready and you can’t be a good father by living on probability or assumptions. Readiness doesn’t start from when you assemble money to buy baby items or when you choose where your wife will go for ante-natal. It starts from the very values you learned as a boy. Values of kindness, of love of mutual respect and fidelity. Paying attention to details and being sensitive, planning and evaluation, being accomodating and forgiving.
My perception of fatherhood is that of a custodian who holds another in trust.In its purest form, fatherhood is an expression of a deep burden for a better society, to improve humanity and to remodel evil conventions. It is as scary as it is continuous. And so everyday for me is for nurturing and watering and questioning. First time dad’s must be very intentional about laying a proper foundation for their children, especially their first fruit. The intention must be beyond leaving behind tangible assets to donating a person of value to the world.
Everyday must be for adjustment and sacrifice and improvement. One currency first time dad’s must have is time. Create time for family no matter how busy you are in life. Every father has the power to reposition a child and can also misplace a child. Some of our gestures as fathers are devoid of quality time, while invaluable gifts may be misinterpreted as love. But I also know that doom can be communicated in the language of love. I agree with the position that no matter how you try, you will not be your child’s only influence but we must thrive to be their major influence.
The expectations are high for a first time dad, but the labour will speak as a memorial. This will not happen by prophecy or wishful thinking, but building a new home must be deliberately and consciously worked out.