“What do you want to be when you grow up?” This is a popular question children are asked from a younger age. While this question is meant to spark imagination and curiosity, it can also create undue pressure and expectation. For some children, the answer to this question is not their own, but rather one dictated by their parents.
The phenomenon of parents choosing their children’s career paths is a widespread and complex issue. Driven by a desire to secure their child’s future, provide financial stability, and fulfill their own unmet aspirations, some parents may override their child’s interests, passions, and strengths. This can lead to a lifelong pursuit of a career that may not be the best fit, resulting in dissatisfaction, disengagement, and emotional distress.
On this episode of Moppet Dadsperience, a father tells us his level of influence on his children’s career choices, among other things. Let’s hear him:
Kindly introduce yourself and tell us what you do for a living.
My name is Monsieur Joseph Uche. I am a French Teacher.
How many children do you have and how old are they?
I have four children. They are 19, 17, 15 and 12 years old respectively.
What careers are your children interested in?
My first son is in year 2 at the university studying Banking and Finance and one of my daughters is hoping to study Law.
Are you okay with their choices?
Yes, very well. Although, I hope my second daughter who is in SS 2 takes up a career in Journalism.
What are your hopes and dreams for your children’s future careers?
As a father, I hope to see them succeed in their chosen careers.
What influences your decisions when it comes to guiding your children’s career choices?
In terms of choosing a career path, I often advise my children to study courses that are marketable and the ones we can afford to pay their tuition fees.
How do you balance your own aspirations for your children with their individual interests and strengths?
I don’t allow my interest to supersede those of my children. For example, when my second daughter was about to enter SS 1, I wanted her to be in the Art class so she could study Journalism but she insisted on Science, and that she wanted to study Lab Tech. I allowed her.
What resources do you use to help your children learn more about their career interests?
Via discussions and books that will capture their interest.
What values do you think are most important for your children to consider when choosing a career?
The first is our religious value as Catholics. The second is our moral values and family beliefs. For instance, I can’t allow any of my children to join the police force.
Why sir?
It is just a principle in the family, not just my nuclear family but also the extended family.
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in guiding your children’s career choices?
So far, I don’t think there is any problem. Just the fear of unemployment.
How do you handle disagreements or differing opinions with your children about their career choices?
Like I said earlier, I don’t compel them to do what they don’t have interest in. I just offer fatherly advice.
What if your last child wants to join the Police force?
So far, he hasn’t cultivated such interest. So, I won’t imagine it.
What concerns do you have about the current job market and how it may impact your children’s future careers?
That concerns me a lot. Though, apart from schooling, I also make sure my children learn some basic skills. Before my son got admitted into the University, he was learning trade in my brother’s shop.
Looking back, what do you wish you had done differently in guiding your children’s career choices?
I would have wanted my first son to study Medicine.
What are some of the most important lessons you’ve learned as a father about guiding your children’s career choices?
I have learnt that as a father, you should be tolerant and guide your children; not force them to take certain career paths.
What advice would you give to other parents who are trying to guide their children’s career choices?
I would advise them to show them and not force them – Let them make their own choices, and then guide them through those choices.