Fatherhood is a complex and multifaceted role influenced by various cultural, social, and economic factors. Cultural norms, values, and beliefs shape expectations around fatherhood, impacting how dads engage with their children, families, and communities. These fathers share with us how their cultures and values shape the way they are raising their children.
Mr Salam Dantani – Factory Worker
How many children do you have and how old are they?
I have 3 daughters and a son. My first daughter is 7, the second is 5, the third is 3, and my last child (son) is 9 months.
How long have you been married?
I have been married for 8 years.
Where are you from?
I am Nupe, from Niger state.
Where is your wife from?
We are from the same ethnic group (Nupe).
How has your past and cultural background affected the way you raise your children?
My cultural background has not really affected the way I raise my children. This is because I grew up in the village where cultural norm was held in high esteem but now my children were all born here in Abuja. Some of the things culture compelled us to do then are not applicable today because of western education. During our days in the village, when there wasn’t social media and the internet, it was more fun than now because those days, one gets to attend festivals, when, I say festival, I mean cultural festival where you see children running around masquerade. During harmattan, as children we used to go to the farm, sit around a fire and roast yam. Sometimes, we organize ourselves and go for hunting game. Another thing is that there was transmission of culture through storytelling. I can remember, my grandmother from my maternal side was responsible for this; She used to sit us down and tell us about the heroes who fought other villages, and our community exploits during the war. Kids don’t do and experience all these now.
However, I teach my children to be respectful because my culture places premium value on respect.
Can your children speak your language?
They understand when you speak to them but cannot speak. Early this year when my wife gave birth to our son, my wife’s mother came to visit, and she was the one who started teaching the children our cultural way of greeting by kneeling down. Now, they often kneel down to greet me and their mother.
How does your wife’s background affect the way you both raise your kids?
My wife and I are from the same ethnic group. What I have observed between my wife and the children is their cooking habit. Can you believe that my seven-year-old daughter can cook very well already?
Are there specific lessons and methods of parenting you learnt from your parents while growing up that you imbibe in your children? What are they?
Growing up, my parents taught me how to be respectful and to show appreciation. I have transmitted all these to my children.
Mr Richard Otunba – Retiree
How many children do you have and how old are they?
I have 5 children.
How long have you been married?
I have been married for 40 years now.
Where are you from?
I am a Yoruba, from Oyo State.
Where is your wife from?
My wife is from Ogun State.
How has your past and cultural background affected the way you raise your children?
It has impacted positively. I raised my children according to my cultural and religious doctrines just the way my parents taught me. First, in terms of dressing, every Christmas, I make sure the whole family is dressed in the same attire. Secondly, all my children are Christians; this is the religion I inherited from my parents. Lastly, I often converse with my children in my language (Yoruba).
How does your wife’s background affect the way you both raise your kids?
My wife is also Yoruba. She has positively transmitted our culture to our daughters. I have three daughters. Without mincing words, two of my daughters are married, and my in-laws have testified to their proper upbringing.
Are there specific lessons and methods of parenting you learnt from your parents while growing up that you imbibe in your children? What are they?
For us as Yoruba, the method of parenting is based on discipline, care and fear of God.
Mr Osaze Ayanyu – Computer Analyst
How many children do you have and how old are they?
I have 3 children now. A son who is 3 and twins who are 1 year plus.
How long have you been married?
I have been married for 5 years.
Where are you from?
I am from Edo state.
Where is your wife from?
My wife is Yoruba.
How has your past and cultural background affected the way you raise your children?
As a prince, my cultural background has significantly influenced the way I relate with my children. In Benin culture, there are specified rules and obligations that a father must pass down to his children which are sacred. For example, in our culture, a father must serve as the protector, the provider and a disciplinarian to his wards.
How does your wife’s background affect the way you both raise your kids?
My wife is from Kwara state. Her Yoruba cultural background has also impacted our children. For example, my eldest son prostrates to appreciate me whenever I get something for him.
Are there specific lessons and methods of parenting you learnt from your parents while growing up that you imbibe in your children? What are they?
From my parents, I learnt to be humble, self-resilient and hardworking. All these I have inculcated into my kids.