Parents tend to have a favourite among their children, and Bolaji Oyun, a Teacher and father of three is not left out. What are his reasons for this and how does he ensure his children are treated equally? Hear him out on this episode of Moppet Dadsperience.
“My first born is 10 years old, the second is 8, and the third born is 6.
From my own perspective, it is not possible for parents to love their children equally. You don’t need to show it to them, but it is impossible not to have a favourite.
I have a favourite child but I don’t show it to the others.
I think parents have a soft spot for a particular child over the other for some reasons: Let’s just say brilliance – If one child is more brilliant than the other, the parent will naturally have a soft spot for that brilliant one. Another thing is the character; Even if you have twins, they cannot have the same character.
When a child is well-behaved, you will definitely prefer that one that does not stress you as much as the others.
Well, I can’t say I love my children equally neither am I stricter with any of them than the others.
Has any of them accused me of favouring one over the other?
(Laughs) Yes, actually. It was a misconception on the part of one of them – There was a day I bought some things for them, one was asleep, and her sisters finished eating the things while she slept. The following day, I bought the exact thing for the one that didn’t get a share, and one of her sisters challenged me, claiming that I sort of preferred her since I did not buy anything for them. I explained to her that it wasn’t the case and told her that the reason I bought something for her sister was because she didn’t eat it with them the previous day. It was my responsibility to treat them equally, and I explained all that to her. She understood me. I even told the one I bought something for to share with her siblings to prevent any rancor within them.
To ensure I treat them equally, whatever I observe in one child that is not so pleasant, I don’t say it expressly. For instance, I would not say, “Your sister is more brilliant than you.” I would rather say, “You are all brilliant”, even though within me, I know that one child is more brilliant than the other. That’s how I manage it.