When you become a parent, your life changes in so many ways.

It’s no secret that having kids can be a major challenge to keeping the spark alive in a relationship. Whether it’s the lack of sleep, the never-ending laundry list of chores, the smell of newborn baby, or simply the fact that you’re now suddenly responsible for tiny humans that rely on you for everything, it’s easy to let intimate time slip by the wayside and take a backseat.

But it doesn’t have to be that way! Just because we are now a parent doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice our sexual life. In fact, there are plenty of things we can do, things that I did to keep the fire burning, even when it feels like everything else is trying to extinguish it.

Here are some of my 7 personal tips for keeping intimacy alive and keeping your sex life hot after you’ve become a parent:

• I made more time: This may seem obvious, but it’s important to set aside time specifically for your partner, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Whether it’s going on a date night, taking a walk together, or just sitting and talking, it’s crucial to make time to reconnect with each other without the distraction of kids.
• I became even more creative in the other room: If you’re struggling to find time for sex, get creative and think outside the traditional bedroom. Try getting busy in other areas of the house with your wife, or even away from the house (away match! wink).
• . I became more vocal about my desire: Communication is vital when it comes to keeping intimacy alive in a relationship. If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, talk about it! Discussing your needs and desires openly can help bring you closer together and make intimacy much easier to achieve. So, if something isn’t working for you or your partner, don’t be afraid to speak up and say so!
• Discussing what you like and don’t like will only enhance your sexual relationship and make the process much faster.
• Alot of patience: Intimacy after kids doesn’t happen overnight as the mother of your child is still healing and trying to adjust herself mentally and physically, so it’s important to be patient with both yourself and your partner. It may take some time and effort to get back to where you were pre-kids, but it will be worth it in the end.
• Seek help if needed: If you find that you’re struggling to keep the spark alive, don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist or counselor if you have one. It can also be a very close friend or your parents. These people are the type of people that can assist you in working through any underlying issues and help get your intimate life back on track. In my case, I reached out to one of my sure guys and he nudged me in some directions and gave me some dirty little scopes that actually went a long way in keeping the fire burning hot.
• Be  spontaneous: One of the best things you can do to keep the spark alive is to be spontaneous. This doesn’t mean you need to go out and buy a new sex toy or anything (although that could help!), but rather, try new things and be open to new experiences. This can be anything from trying a new position, experimenting with role-playing, or even just watching an erotic movie together. A lot of fun things can happen just by doing any of this.
• Be Grateful: Finally, it’s important to remember to be grateful for what you have and be very vocal about appreciation. Yes, having kids is a lot of work and can be tough on a relationship, but they are also a huge blessing. So, amidst the chaos, take a moment to appreciate your partner and everything they do for you and your family. Showing gratitude will go a long way in keeping the spark alive in your relationship. I hope these tips help keep the spark alive after having kids. It’s important to remember that even though our lives may have changed, we can still find ways to maintain intimacy with our partners. With a little effort and creativity, it is possible to keep the fire of love burning bright.